I Do Believe.

"I do believe we're all connected.

I do believe in positive energy.

I do believe in the power of prayer.

I do believe in putting good out into the world, and I believe in taking care of each other."

-Harvey Fierstein

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A new journey starts when one ends, they say. I feel like my life is one continuous journey with no end.

Growing up in the 80's was tough on me. Probably not as bad when I look back now, but for that young girl who went to school in a district of privileges', while owning 3 church outfits, 4 shirts and 2 pairs of pants, it was tough.

I went to church every Sunday like all good Greek Orthodox children. I put the fancy clothes on, and polished my shoes, and attended Sunday school, for me up until that stage in life, it was yet another chance to see my friends.

Strength and resilience in a child is incredible. As a child you look to your parents to teach you, guide you, form you. At 34 years of age with 3 young daughters, my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

Total devastation, you would think.

Not for my mother, therefore not for me.

That very moment, changed me.

I rolled my shoulders back, and pushed my chin up as my mother always instructed me to do. See, that night was the start of my journey. The beginning of so many life lessons. The beginning of forming beliefs. The first time I ever told my heart to stay strong and defeat the hurt and pain. My mind was saying all this, but my heart, well it hurt.

It was the first time, outside of church, that I found myself sitting on the edge of my bed, praying out loud.

I prayed so hard that the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I promised I would do good from that moment on, and that I would never let negativity in my life, as long as he promised to let me keep my mom.

Then I realized that I was trying to negotiate with God and so I found myself praying and apologizing for that.

When the door creaked open, and my mom walked in, she was smiling. She sat next to me on the bed, and through her smile told me that if we put out positive thoughts, and actions, that the universe will send them back to us.

That has stuck with me for life, because I believed her when she said it, and I believe it to this day.

The universe will return to you whatever you send out. At least this is what my mom said at the time, to comfort and guide me through the emotions.

I do believe it. I have followed her advice and to date, do not regret anything I have put out into the universe.

Have I prayed lately? To be honest, no.

I find myself talking more to the universe than God. I also find myself talking alot to my mom, and my aunt who passed last year.

It obviously isn't a two way conversation, but because of the amazing relationship I was blessed to have with both of them, knowing them SO well, I always get my answers.

This is what they must call "digging deep". Deep down inside, we always know the truths, the answers, the right path to take.

My fight or flight mode, has always leaned more towards flight. See my chapter, Anxiety.

Once I take the time to dig deep, converse with, well myself basically, I go into fight mode.

This leads many of my friends to think that I overthink things, and let them fester for a few days, but quite the opposite is true. If you take what I just explained, into consideration you will see why it is true.

Have I made poor decisions in life?

Of course I have.

Do I have any regrets?

Maybe, but I am who I am today, because of the paths I have chosen, and some that I had no choice but to take.

Do I believe when you surround yourself with positivity, and the energy of people that you can fight through everything?

I do believe.

Being raised as a Greek Orthodox, religion lead our social lives.

The Sunday get together after church.

The crazy traditions of staying up all night after midnight mass with friends eating and dancing.

Greek dances at the church hall with hundreds of our closest Greek friends.

A community of hundreds of people that gather around you after a funeral and the air crosses that yiayia makes before you leave the driveway to go out with friends.

Looking back, growing up in a tight Greek community was the religion. Yes, there was church and life lessons that my yiayia somehow always tied into the testament, but at the end of it all, it is to believe in something, anything that will give your heart some hope and help your heart deal with things that don't prosper.

I have been told many times that I give too much or I give more than I get in return from someone, but the truth is that I have been raised to do so. Yes, put it out there because it will come back to you.

Maybe not immediately but eventually it will.

I have a very blessed life. I don't want for or need anything and if I do, I am more than capable of making it happen for myself.

The smallest things day to day make me happy.

The text from a friend I haven't spoken to in a while, getting together for a few hours with friends and laughing the entire time, holding events and looking around the room at all the happy guests. These are the small things that make me believe that the universe is smiling.

I do believe, that we as one person can change someone's day, or even life by putting it out there.

I do believe that everything in life happens for a reason. The reason is a lesson and in every lesson there is room to grow.